Insight, the number one (beneficial) tool to make you realize how negative you see the drastic changes going on by the stance you take. Having joined several support groups to better navigate the feelings my divorce brings up, so I grow as an individual and don’t feel so alone has been eye opening. I’ve come to feel the anger in the posts I read and the unhappiness for what each of the posters are going through.
While I have no warm fuzzy feelings for the person I once was connected to, I do not want to be so caught up in old feelings to harbor animosity. The whole point of divorcing, at least for me, is to remove the daily presence of him in my life and sever all pertinent ties I can, including emotional ones and live my life.
The toxicity and abuse I dealt with doesn’t make me a continued victim and holding on to negativity perpetuates those type of feelings. Seeing how unhappy the posters are and realizing how I must have seemed with my rant, well I’ve realized that’s not me. I don’t want to be a shell and feed into any negative feelings, (when they arise).
I see how the members from the sites I’m connected to continue to hold on in such unhealthy ways. Reading the posts, and feeling their hatred and anger seep out, is not beneficial to them or me. Why can’t a support group show healthy ways to handle times like these? Why must it seem to feed into the despair?
I’m setting myself free. My life is about me being positive, happy and living to my fullest potential. Letting go like a bag being taken in the wind. Fluttering as it’s lifted up and away, you can feel the subtly and hope.
Being the best version of myself as I am growing into her daily is a work in progress. I’m making some small changes that I know will have a great overall impact on who I am. I’m the carefree bag in the wind of change.
My goals are simple ones, to do the things that bring joy that will give me the most genuine experience of life I can get. To make memories, experience new adventures and be happy being on my own. Learning that no one completes me accept me and I’m my own source of happiness is powerful. I’m strong, capable and can and will find joy in my own self awareness. I’m a go-getter, authentic and stand before you, as I am, no pretenses ready to give back to a life that continues to show me I can.