Purpose

Morning came quickly, bright sun pushing through the blinds. Laying in bed, I decided if I actually should get up. Knowing the answer, I threw off my covers, propelling myself out of bed to start my day.
Finding purpose in a world that can make you doubt the very reasons you try, some days are just harder than others.
I move through the motions hoping something will change the ho-hum feelings I’m feeling.
Morning tea without cream, the monotonous drive to work. I try not to allow this side of myself to be seen by my coworkers or the children I work with. I focus on how important it is to make our little friends enjoy their day and truth be told, they help me put my “issues” into perspective. Most days I leave in a better place than I started.

Today, today… Yes today. Ho-hum. I will spend some time on myself working out. Today is an arm day along with cardio. The blind focus I have at times as I workout is the best stress reliever and relaxation you could ever imagine. I hope I’m able to obtain that depth of commitment today, I need it.

A secret: There is nothing like working on getting your body back in great shape. I’ve always enjoyed working out so it really should be a no brainer. Frankly the fact I’m in a good emotional mindset overall makes it easier.
If the process of divorce has taught me anything it’s that nothing lasts, take time for yourself, love who you are, don’t settle and don’t give up. Yes it is a hard process but I’m not defined by it and won’t let it rule my life, now or in the future.
Yes morning was ho-hum but now, now my focus brings me to the root of it all; Loneliness. Divorce brings on a plethora of changes – bad or good the change makes you realize how empty and alone the process is. You’re left with all these feelings,and if you are wise, you work through them.
In the end if you don’t you won’t be any better off.

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