Somehow it seems that this time of year (spring/summer) should be less busy, because it is nice out, and the kids are out of school, but it also fees like it should move slowly. I find myself even busier than I am normally, especially this year as I am (this close 🙌🏻 to) divorced. While I like the fact I am taking care of many needed things, I can’t help but feel before I know it, it will be the crisp days of fall.
Don’t get me wrong, I love fall, but Spring and the beginning of Summer are my favorite times of year. Days are long and they have an endless feel, even with work their seems to be a slowness that only comes with the warmth. I do stress warmth, and not sultry hot. I do not mind heat, but I prefer the cooler temperatures of spring. Besides you can have days that are warm and nights that are cool, making it perfect sleeping weather. (Besides I really don’t like air conditioning).
Being an avid gardener it really is my season. However, I have not done any of my own gardening, but I have done some for others. It isn’t the same when it isn’t your own. Don’t get me wrong, it still satiates my need for nature, but I don’t get to tend to it the same way I would if it were mine.
Many spring mornings I would wake by the sound of birds and the smell of flowers, flowing up to my bedroom window. I knew wildlife loved the space I created, it was apparent and I loved listening to the wildlife. Every morning I would get up and look out the bathroom window to just look at how magnificent outside was.
I don’t do that much anymore, partly because I have nothing planted here, but mostly because my father has a way of making me and the girls not feel like we belong. It is a hard place to be, to not feel welcomed by your own parent. If I had any other choice, I would not have moved in with him, but truth be told, I didn’t.
Do I want to plant? Yes, but I have decided to wait until I feel like I belong where I am. I do not belong or am I truly accepted where I am, and as a result I don’t have the drive or even desire.
I realized how I felt only when I visited my BFF. I worked on making a crocheted baby blanket and almost completed it, and I worked on her yard. I truly felt relaxed and accepted and had desire to do for her and myself. There was no forcing myself, I wanted to do it.
I want to cherish all I can about this time of year; the weather, the smells, the abundance of sun, fires, dates, my children, events, friends, just being present, because it goes to darn fast. I will not relinquish any aspect of what it means to enjoy this time of year and live. 🐛🦋